I'd like to say that in the beginning I was easier,
but truth be told I was as big a pain then as I turned out to be later.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Right now the unbreakable bond between a mother and daughter was about to be born
So just listen and watch
and pay attention.
If you don't like the way I'm doing it...
both of you get in here and push her out yourself!
Look, look...
Hey baby…
Gosh, she is beautiful!
She's changed our lives forever.
...If you only knew…
Mom and Dad had waited a long time for a kid.
They tried everything so you can only imagine
how many hopes and dreams were pinned on me,
their first born. Even though I was a potted plant.
- Honey! - What?
I can't hear Jane. She's not making any noise.
She's fairly asleep.
Just like I was…
Robert, you gotta calm down. Go back to sleep.
No no no... I'm gonna check on her.
- No please... - It turns out long to have a baby.
- I'm damned not gonna let her suffocate. - Please don't.
You're insane!
Ok fine... I'm coming too. I'm coming.
-What are you doing? -I don't want to turn on the overhead.
That was a seminal moment for me.
And yes, I do too, remember it.
Babies know way more stuff that goes on than you think.
And from that moment on I felt like the spot light was on me,
which I've never gotten used to.
Turn that light off!
Sorry, sorry…
To make it through year one is quite an accomplishment
although no one ever gives you an atta-boy for it,
they really should.
And another thing I learned that year is that if parents could crazy glue us to them,
they would.
Sweetheart
My mother was pregnant and ready to pop again.
Then I stupidly thought that when Brad was born
he'd take some of the pressure off me
Boy, was I wrong.
This was also the goo-goo ga-ga period.
It's a little dull. So let's jump ahead, shall we?
I wish our parents were here to see this.
Both mom and dad's parents were dead.
I missed not having grandparents.
They missed not having parents more.
So how long are we gonna sit here?
A long time.
My mother knew that some day she was going to have to let me go
run free little one
But she didn't want to be on this day or any day soon.
And so began the parents witness protection program.
Honey, she's got to go to school
and I've gotta to go to work
So either we do this as a family or I'll take her in myself.
How important is kindergarten anyway…
I can't remember it. Can you?
It's not the point.
What is the point?
The point is...we can't protect her forever.
Why not?
It's not healthy
It's healthier than not protecting her.
Honey, she's...gotta be around kids.
She has to start developing social skills.
- Why? - Oh...this is nuts. I'm taking her in.
Come on! Let's go.
Atta girl.
Are you coming?
No...I want her to have the memory of you leaving.
Blackmail is an interesting thing if you use it properly.
My mother had a black belt in it.
My mother wanted to be a dancer.
But she'll tell you about that later.
Let's just say her expectations were way too high.
They hugged us so tightly that you could almost hear the air escape from our tiny little bodies.
- You were wonderful. - You were brilliant, brilliant!
Wasn't she brilliant? Yes!
We were awful. Moving on.
Hey, baby...how you feeling?
Come on, sweetie. Here, drink this.
Come on, make you feel better. Promise.
My parents love me more than life itself.
But it was my mother who truly would've cut off her right arm had I asked her to.
Not quite sure why
But you get the picture.
Let's get to the good stuff. Let's get to where my life really started, ok?
It's a very important day.
This is when things suddenly begin to fall into place.
Our little girl...all grown up.
First day of high school.
Janie, all the world is at your feet.
Dad…
Mom…
I gotta go.
Just let your father and me share this moment with you.
All right. But any more moments and your little girl's gonna be late for her first day of school.
Now that's not a good way for me to start my wonder years, is it?
- Get out the car. - Hold it. Hold it.
- You're forgetting… - Come on... come on…
Kisses all around.
If the kids saw me doing this, I'd be branded for life.
Out. Now get out of the car.
From now on, I'm walking to school
by myself.
- Got it? - Yeah we got it.
I don't think so.
I'm Ms. Walcott and I will be your English teacher
through your tortureous first year of high school
and I guarantee that you'll make it through the experience alive
Now, I'm pretty easy to get along with as long as you follow a few of my simple rules
One, if you show me respect, I'll show it to you
and two, if you have any questions, ask me
and three, if you're feeling overwhelmed and need somebody to talk to, you can talk to me.
I know it's hard to believe
but I am not so old that I can't relate to what you might be going through.
So, let's hit the book, shall we? I want you to turn to page 424
in "Lit Language"…
The beauty of reading is that it's personal,
it's your interpretation.
It's what you think, it's what you feel,
it's what you see
and that's what makes it so magical.
And I hope that if you learn nothing else from me
it's that you learn to love words.
They'll save you someday… Trust me on that.
Have a great lunch!
Jane, over here!
I can't believe you're not in our class.
Who'd you get?
Ms. Walcott. She's cool, though.
She's my guidance counselor too.
You luck just never ends.
We got a bone head Mr. Speavek
That's the new boy.
Oh, is he a hottie or what?
Oh my god! Jane, he smiled at you!
Why did he smile at you, why not at me?
Competition is an ugly quality.
One I can honestly say was not a problem for me.
Although I had many other problems, that was not one of them.
Hi, I'm Ned.
Elizabeth, Betsy, Claire and Jane.
Nice meeting you.
Jane's got a boyfriend, Jane's got a boyfriend!
Leave me alone, you dweeb. I'm not interested.
You're an idiot then. He was positively drooling.
- So? - So don't be retarded.
He's like the cutest guy I've ever seen here
except for Todd Burkin, captain of the football team
who I am going after starting today.
But back to you, we need to jump start your hormones. You’re way behind.
And that's where the fingerpointing began.
-Brad, stop it. I'm doing homework. -So?
-Mom! -What is it honey?
I was in here first. I need to do my homework.
- Brad, turn the Nintendo off. - Well, why?
- Your sister's studying. - She always gets her way.
You go wash up for dinner.
Should've been a girl, then you'd be nicer to me.
-Goodness... -You'd of been a lovely girl.
Jane!
As you can tell, I didn't much care for my brother
I don't even know why, but I think it's mandatory.
Janie, be nicer to your brother!
Why?
Want some help with your homework?
Yeah, it's Math.
Sorry, can't help you there.
Well, how'd you get through it in school?
I didn't.
What were you good at?
Mmmm... English... Recess...
You're a lot smarter than I was at your age…
You'll do fine.
I think not.
What do you say this Saturday...the two of us
just the girls, do little shopping, go to movies
Just chill…
Isn't that the phrase, just chill?
No...It’s hang...
oh, hang…
What do you say?
I will say you da bomb.
Oh, I'm da bomb. Oh, I am da bomb. Great!
And at that time, I meant it with all of my little heart.
So, how do you like high school?
It's ok.
Compared to what? Dental surgery?
Bob, you just find it thrilling
because you don't have to go through it again.
If your mind could go back that far, if you could really remember.
It was pretty rough, you know, new kids, new teachers.
Don’t know where to go, new questions.
Brad, dinner!
Sweetheart, we have to start planning your sweet sixteen party
Why? It's months away!
You never start too early planning really important events.
Well I really don't want a party.
What? Everybody wants a sweet sixteen party!
Everyone but me.
I don't know what teenage girl especially
doesn't wanna have a sweet sixteen party.
You know, it's what every kid should have.
Wait a second, who are you?
The Janice I've know all these years never did anything that was expected of her.
Yeah, what happened to 'the hell with society' girl,
we all used to know and love?
She became a 'mutha'.
A 'mutha'?
Jane Fonda, meet Nancy Raegan.
Woo..Ouch! That is cold
That is... but accurate…
How'd you do on that Math test?
Hum...I think I'll eek out a C.
I'm so proud of you!
You're the only member of this family who hasn't flunked math.
Thanks.
So any cute boys at this school?
Mom, I just started going there.
It's alright.
Did you have a boyfriend right away in high school?
Yeah.
When did you first have sex?
Excuse me?
I know you know the answer.
Yes, I do. I'm just trying to remember it. I was 21.
You're such a liar.
Yes, I am.
Did you always wanna have kids?
Far back as I can remember.
Why didn't you stick with dancing?
I wasn't really very good at it…
Then I tried to be a writer, I didn't have the passion for it.
What I really had passion for was being a mother.
Best job in the world.
I'm kinda glad you weren't good at anything
Do me a favor, next Math test, just eek out a B.
I'll try…
Thank you very much!
Your reading assignment is going to be 'Crime and Punishment'.
I'm kidding!
Ok.
Sorry, I'm late.
Paper work took longer than I planned for.
That's ok. Just take a seat in the back.
So as I was saying,
We're gonna find something exciting for you to read.
Hi, I'm Taylor
Hi, I'm Jane
Hi Jane!
She was different, smarter, wiser…
Maybe it was just because
she wasn't from here.
But maybe it was just her…
I don't know but I'm gonna go with the last one.
And I should know
because Taylor would end up changing my life.
Hi!
I didn't mean to scare you.
You didn't.
I'm a little behind on what books, we need on some of the assignments.
Do you think you could fill me in?
Sure
Ok
You're my saviour.
No, I wouldn't go that far.
Hi, what are you doing?
Oh, this is Taylor,
she just transferred here
So I'm just helping her catch up on her assignments.
This is Elizabeth, Betsy and Claire.
Hi
Going to the movies tonight, you wanna come?
Oh I can't. I have to baby-sit my brother
See you tomorrow then.
Hey, would it be ok if I came over tonight?
We can go over the rest of this stuff.
Yeah, around 8 o'clock?
Sure
Excuse me, it's the bulter's night off.
Answer the door.
- Hey. - Hi, you two look nice.
Oh, thank you.
You guys double-dating?
I'm not his type, I'm the wrong height.
Hahaha, funny.
Hi, Brad.
What is this, Halloween?
Oh, I forgot tell you mom there's a new girl at school that's coming over
so I can help her catch up on class work.
-Hello. -Hi, I'm Taylor.
Hi, Taylor, I'm Janice, Jane's mother.
This is Jimmy and Beth. This is Taylor.
- Hi. - Hi, Taylor.
And the one on the couch in a coma...
staring at the screen is Brad.
Brad!
Robert, this is Taylor.
This is Jane's friend they're gonna do some homework together.
Great. Hi, Taylor.
So Taylor you from around here.
Janice, we really don't have time.
Yeah, right, we have a minute.
What do your parents do?
My parents were divorced when I was 6
and I live with my mom, she works full time for the phone company.
Do you have any brothers?
-Mom... -Jane, it's ok. I can take it.
So anybody else have any questions?
Yeah, how many pets?
Funny, really funny...
The number where we'll be is up on the fridge if you need us. Just in case.
- Bye, Honey. - Bye, Mom.
Bye sweetie.
- Bye, Sport! - Bye Brad, not too late!
Brad, turn it off. I have company.
Who cares?
Go play your computer 'coz next time I won't aim so high.
Sorry, I think he's adopted.
Yeah, must be rough...
But even having a jerk as a younger brother is better than not having one at all.
You go to high school full of fear and excitement
so many emotions that your body can barely handle all the things racing through it
And then it gets worse just when you thought it couldn't get any more complicated
Why wasn't I like my friends?
Why wasn't I like everyone else?
Why couldn't I just like a boy named Ned?
I was in trouble.
Big, big trouble.
I had a crush on a girl.
Hey, Jane!
Oh hey, you know Taylor right?
Yeah.
- Hi. - How're things?
Good.
All right, see you later.
Boy, does he have a crush on you?
No, he doesn't.
Yes, he does.
I don't blame him.
Did anyone have trouble with "Wuthering heights"?
Kate?
I thought it was hard to read 'coz it was so sad.
Anyone else? Grant?
I thought it was too much about love and should have had more story…
Jane?
I think all the greatest stories ever written were about love
no matter what plot they're wrapped in...
Jane's right,
love is complicated
and with that sadness
is great beauty.
But how about next time,
I'll give you something a little more fun to read
Jane, what are you doing here?
Well, you haven't been in school
and I called a couple of times...I was worried.
I wanted to come by and see if you were ok.
Are you ok?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I just can't come to school for a while
Taylor? Taylor, where are you?
You don't come in right now, you are going to be so sorry.
You hear me? I'm your mother for god's sake...
Look, you shouldn't have come, ok? I'll call you when I can.
Taylor!
At that moment, I thank god for my mother.
Maybe the reason Taylor seems so much more grownup than the rest of us
was because she was forced to grow up faster than the rest of us.
Hey
Hummm, I was wonder if maybe we can get together sometime,
movies or something.
Why couldn't I just say yes?
My life would've been so much easier.
I like you, Ned,
but...I don't really wanna a boyfriend right now.
That's ok. How about friend?
Ok
Hey Jane. Why aren't you talking?
What could I possibly have to say to you?
Jane, what's the matter with you?
Nothing
Hey Sport, wanna pass the salt?
Well, something's the matter with you
'coz you've been snapping everybody lately.
I told you nothing is wrong.
I wish I could've told her
that I had so many feelings running through me,
things I didn't even understand.
But I couldn't tell her.
I didn't even know how to put it into words.
- Can I be excused? - No, stay and finish your dinner.
I'm not hungry.
You can go Jane. You're excused.
If I say one thing
don't undercut me and say another.
Why do you always have to have the last word?
I don't.
Come in.
I probably should've let you just go to your room.
But I got upset.
You haven't been yourself lately... I worry about you.
I know you do. It's just growing pains.
You know you can tell me anything.
You may find this difficult to believe
but I actually went through this myself once.
I'm your mother, I'm your friend, I just wanna help you.
It's ok.
Don't worry.
Your friend Taylor's here. You up for company?
Yeah
You would've had to been blind not to see me light up at Taylor's name.
But thank god parents don't have a clue sometimes.
If a kid were drunk or stoned and fell over in front of them
they'd convince themselves that was an inner-ear problem.
Hi.
Are you ok?
No
I know my mom's having a rough time
taking care of me
and making ends meet
but
it never gets any better.
She blames me for the divorce.
When she looks at me
she sees him
and she goes crazy…
I...
I could take the hitting
if I just knew that someday it might stop.
You'll be ok.
Did this make me gay?
No
It's just an innocent crush, a phase.
At least that's what I kept telling myself.
But I also know that it was the first moment in my life
that I ever felt connected to someone.
What do you say I pick you up after school? we go somewhere...
Like where?
I don't know. Anywhere you want.
Oh, I can't. I have plans with Taylor.
Don't get me wrong, I really like Taylor...
But what happen to Elizabeth, Besty and Claire?
You hardly ever see them anymore.
They're still my friends. I just...
have a new one.
I knew I was hurting my old friends
but they will never gonna get along with Taylor.
I had to choose, and with the feelings I had for her
She was bound to win.
I'm really glad I moved here.
I am too.
Do you think Taylor's awfully mature for her age?
No, not really.
Mmmm, I think Jane's been spending far too much time with her.
It's not healthy.
Why, they're friends.
Well she hasn't been seeing her other friends... dating... she's almost 16, for god's sakes.
Can we talk about this some other time?
She should be going out with boys. She should be giving us a heart attack by now.
Yeah, well. You're not gonna win me over to your side.
I'm not. Why?
'coz I'd prefer it if Jane never dated a boy for as long as she lived.
You just...
You know what boys want.
What was your name again?
Finals are just around the corner.
If you need help studying, just ask.
And I'll stay late and help you. So, just let me know ok?
I love you too.
It didn't matter how much they liked Ms. Walcott
Kids are like pavlovian dogs. When they hear the bell, they gotta go.
So my mom's out of town tonight, you wanna come over?
Sure.
It would've been nice if you had told me before I made dinner
that you wouldn't be home for it.
What's the big deal?
I cook all day for this family which you are a part of.
You cook every night... Like I said, what's the big whoop?
Excuse me, what's the big whoop?
You just watch your tone with me, young lady.
Boy, you are turning into such a smart ass.
You were never like this when you were around your other friends.
What? You wanna blame this on Taylor?
You know what you can't stand is that I'd rather be with her...
than with you.
What was I doing there?
I still had time to leave. She would never have know.
I could have said I had food poisoning
or cramps That's a good one...cramps.
Who was I kidding?
I wanted to be there, ready or not.
Are you sure you wanna do this?
No
Do you want me to stop?
No
I was so terrified that I thought I'd have a heart attack...
I wanted her to stop...
No I didn't... Yes I did...
No I didn't...
It’s hard enough having sex for the first time with anyone
but when you do it with a girl...
you're just asking for it.
Hey
Are you OK?
No
I think what happened was a mistake and that it shouldn't have happened.
Why?
I don't know, because it isn't normal?
So what's normal?
I guess...
going out with boys?
And that if you go out with a girl you might be gay, which I don't think that I am...
OK. First of all it doesn't make you gay.
And even if you were, what's the big deal?
Everything
Fine.
Go back to your boring little friends then.
Are you ok?
No. Could you take me home? I don't feel good.
Yeah. Sure.
...her own life and her own friends, she just doesn't want to be around her mother anymore.
Of course she doesn’t want to be around you!
I mean, she's a teenager do you blame her?
Thank you for those kind words.
Janice, none of us wanted to be around our mothers when we were teenagers.
This is different.
- How? - I don't know
I just wish she was still a baby
Why?
So she'd need you? That is sick.
I mean you should be thrilled that she's a person with her own ideas
and dreams and goals.
Oh, I'm not.
Oh look at the bright side, you still have Brad to suffocate.
He's a boy.
He won't need his mother until he gets his first apartment
and need someone to decorate it for him.
You can laugh all you want but she's hurting and I can't help her.
and she won't talk to me.
Well, maybe she needs to sort through things herself, and then she'll talk to you.
Yeah just give her some time
I mean and take comfort in the fact
that you are the millionth mother to go through the exact same thing this week.
And to think I used to enjoy these lunches.
Check
Hi
Hi.
Could we talk?
About what?
About us.
I got scared Taylor, I’m sorry.
- I’d like another chance. - There is no us Jane.
I want to be with people who are sure they want to be with me.
Come on Jane, come with me, ok?
- Whatever it is Jane, it'll be ok. - No it won't.
You just got to pull yourself together.
I can't.
In a little while, you'll feel better with whatever it is that's upsetting you.
You’ll see, things'll change.
I don't want to feel better.
And when something's happened it doesn't change.
You wanna talk about it?
Fine, you wanna know what I'm upset about?
I slept with someone for the first time.
That can be traumatic for everyone.
No I think it was more traumatic for me.
We broke up already.
Is that what you wanted to do?
No.
But that's what I did because I’m a coward.
No you’re not.
In our first sexual experience
we sometimes invest ourselves wisely and sometimes foolishly
and it doesn’t matter which
because in the end the investment's the same
but if you want to be with them
you gotta tell them that.
I did.
They’ve moved on.
But if you don’t try again you'll never forgive yourself.
My advice to you is...
I'd write them a letter
and I'd tell them why you did what you did and how you really feel.
Honey you have to eat.
I’m not hungry.
I know I know I know I sound like a broken record but...
I’m just trying to help.
Can't you tell me what's going on?
I just want to be left alone.
Please…
Okay
Taylor my life changed the moment I met you…
Only I was too stupid to see it.
Actually I was scared and I’m sorry for that.
You took my breath away and it frightened me.
I’m not frightened anymore and I’d like another chance.
Hey Jane
Hey
What’s going on?
Nothing
What happened to your friend Taylor?
I haven't seen you with her lately.
She isn't around.
Guess she has a new friend, eh?
I gotta go.
I wanted to like them again but boy, they made it hard.
Now, is everyone gonna behave themselves?
I am. Not sure about her, though.
Don’t press your luck Brad, it's really a bad idea.
You want to live to see your fifteenth birthday, don't you, Sport?
Bye now.
Bye kid.
What?
- Hi - Hi
I got your letter.
Can we talk privately?
Yeah
No I should have known this was gonna be hard for you.
For anyone…
and I'm sorry I took it so personally.
I was hurt.
but then I got your letter, it was... beautiful.
I thought you were dating someone else.
There was never anyone else.
Whose little brother who's in the same class our ex-friend Jane's little brother
knows the most disgusting thing ever about Jane.
Tell, tell!
Someone saw Jane and Taylor kissing.
Shut up!
I swear.
I’ll get it.
Hello
Yes this is she…
What?
Who is this?
But... is this some kind of sick joke… Where...
Who is this? Where did you hear such a thing? Hello?
When I said it was a phase, it wasn't.
I was gay, with or without Taylor.
I knew it deep down for a long time.
But what my mother didn't know is that I was exactly who I was meant to be.
Whether she liked it or not.
What kind of person would do such a thing?
It’s probably just a kid making a prank phone call.
No no no no no this was no kid's slander, it....
Calm down, it's just gossip. There's nothing to it.
- Why would anyone say such a thing? - I don't know
Why would anyone call up a total stranger and say “Oh your sixteen year old child is a lesbian”.
Oh, people are so sick.
Maybe...hum...
Maybe...she was learning how to kiss.
What?
Girls do that, don't they?
They practice. Maybe that's what she was doing.
We should ask her.
Why should we upset her with these vicious lies?
We have to protect her.
Whoever called us...
might start calling her friends.
Come in.
- Hi - Hi
Honey, we need to talk.
Yes
We got a phone call…
A very disturbing phone call…
And...
We know it isn't true, but... we felt we should talk to you about it…
because, um...
We felt we should warn you.
Warn me about what?
What?
We don't know who called, honey, but...
They said that...
You were a lesbian.
They said that someone had seen you
kissing Taylor...
We know it's just vicious gossip.
You could tell from the way she said it, that the thought of it was out of the question.
I was frozen with fear, I wanted so badly to tell the truth
but I was so afraid of losing my parents.
I couldn't speak.
Is it possible...
that you kissed Taylor,
that...you were...
practicing with her?
Yeah...that's what we were doing.
It won't happen again
Oh...well...
We didn't mean to upset you, honey, but...
there are some really nasty people in this world.
Don’t worry about it, baby.
We love you. Good night, sweetie.
Sweet dreams.
Good night.
I used the word "coward" before
but I never really understood what it was meant until that moment.
I was ashamed of my feelings because of what someone else might think
I made myself sick.
Come on in, baby.
You don't look so good.
Ok...tell me what's going on?
My mom got this anonymous phone call saying they saw me kissing a girl
And I told her it wasn't true.
Okay, you lost me.
Sounds like you have no problem.
I lied to her.
I was kissing a girl,
I slept with a girl,
but the way...she was talking about it...
I knew if I had told her the truth, that she’d hate me.
I think I'm gay Jimmy.
It’s ok.
Sometimes it's easier not to tell the truth…
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
I don't know what to do.
You’re the only gay person I’ve ever known.
Don’t worry.
It happens to all of us.
First time someone suspects or calls us a name.
It’s the "don't ask-don't tell" moment.
What if my parents find out?
If people find out? They're all gonna hate me.
Honey, I'm black and I'm gay.
They hate me way more than they'll hate you.
Well what did you do?
You get a thick skin.
I've had one since I was a baby. Cause I had to have it.
I don't take personally anymore.
Because I know it's based on ignorance and fear
and it ain't even about me, really, it's about them.
I don't wanna hurt my mother.
But I don't know how long I can keep this a secret.
You'll know when time is right.
Maybe it will be ok.
And you've been friends with my mother for a long time and she accepted you
Yeah, but you're her baby.
Mothers and daughters are about as complicated as it gets…
Jimmy please don't tell my mother anything I’ve told you.
Not a word.
I was so glad Jimmy was in the world.
It's ok Jane, just keep walking.
- Hey lesbos! - Punk!
We were about to reenact the children's hour.
Now stop all this nonsense all of you.
Open your books…
So what are you guys doing this weekend?
I'm going with Jeff and his parents, play miniature golf.
Jane, what about you?
- I'm gonna see Taylor. - I'd prefer it if you didn't see that girl.
She's not a girl mom.
She's a dyke!
- Jane! - Cut it out! Jane!
Get off! Get off!
-Jane, go to your own room! -Why? He started it!
Why doesn't he have to go to his room?
Cause I'm not a dyke!
- Go to your room! - Go to your room, right now!
Come on! Come on!
You can't just attack your brother like that!
You just can't do that!
It was now and never, and I would've preferred never…
It was out of control and I had to do something.
So I took the deepest breath I’ve ever taken in my entire life.
He's younger than you are!
The next time he says something off, you just let it roll off your back.
-This is just gossip. -It's not just gossip!
I lied to the two of you
because I was afraid
afraid that you'd hate me,
afraid that you'd throw me out.
I did kiss Taylor
and I think I'm in love with her.
But...
She's a girl.
- You don't know what you're saying. - Yes, I do.
But it's ok, because...
Taylor is a really good person.
That’s not the point.
Why is it wrong for me to care about someone
and for someone to care about me?
Because it's not right!
You... you don't have a clue.
If you're saying that you're gay…
You have no comprehension of what that means!
I don't care anymore!
It’s what I feel…
It’s what you feel?
How do you know what you feel?
You’re a 16-year-old kid.
Look, this is just a phase,
and it's gonna stop right here.
It’s not just phase!
I'm gay!
If you could just see it through my eyes
to have someone you are care about, care about you
and they make you feel not so alone in this world.
Does it really matter who the person is?
Of course it matters.
Why?
And since when do you hate gay people.
Jimmy's been your friend forever, and he's gay.
He's not my daughter!
I expected emergency rooms
skinned knees, braces, broken hearts, not this...
this wasn't part of my plan.
Yeah, I know, it wasn't part of my plan either.
What horrible thing did I do as a mother?
No, you're a great mother. It’s not about you.
We have to do something Bobbie?
The world is not a tolerant place.
Her life could be ruined.
I know..
She's not a baby anymore.
Yes she is…
she's my baby…
she's my child…
You know she's my child too.
Listen, I think we need to stay calm here.
What are you saying? That it's ok for her to be gay?
No, it's not what I'm saying.
Don’t you think I wanna walk her down the isle.
Have grandchildren, just like you do?
I don't want my child to be gay.
But she's our daughter
and we have to find a way to help her through this.
I'm not going to help her through it.
I'm not going to help her become a lesbian.
I didn't ask you to do that!
It’s not what I'm saying.
But we can't just pretend this isn't happening.
We can't turn our backs on her.
or let this tear us apart.
What are we gonna do?
Jane told us she was gay last night.
I know.
You know?
How do you know?
She came by here the other day and told me.
She told you?
Why didn't you tell me?
Because it's her decision to tell you, not mine.
But you're my friend.
You should've told me.
She was terrified of losing you.
Terrified that you'd hate her.
She needed to tell you when she was ready.
I have to do something.
Like what?
You’re friends with me.
You love me and I'm a gay.
Why can't you do that with Jane?
'Cause I don't want her to have as hard a life as you've had.
It’s not your place to judge my life!
or anyone else's…
Jimmy!
Oh come on.
I'm not blind. I've been there.
I've seen it, I've seen how cruel people have been to you, how they've taunted you.
Then your only concern should be not to become one of those people.
This is my life, this is who I am,
and Jane should be able to be who she is too
even if it's not who you want her to be.
No!
As long as she is my responsibility
I have a say in this.
Janice, don't be like this
or you'll regret it till the day you die.
Then that will be my choice.
Jane it really would be a better use of our time together
if you said something during one of our sessions.
Like what?
Like why do you think you're here?
Because my mother said I had to come, and to shut her up I came.
Sharing with you wasn't part of the deal.
Why are you so mad at your mother?
Oh, I don't know…
Because she's a bigot.
Well that’s good, that's a start.
Really?
Where to now?
I'm at my wit's end, Beth.
Therapy hasn't changed a thing.
I try to keep her away from Taylor
but I can't lock her up
and Jimmy's no help.
He’s on Jane's side, of course.
What?
Nothing.
What Beth?
I don't know.
You've always been so liberal-minded…
I think that you're overreacting.
It's probably just a phase she's going through.
Oh, I pray that it is. Geez, what if it isn't? What do I do then?
Well then it isn't, and you accept it.
She's your child Janice, whatever happens you accept her.
What if I can't.
Well then you wouldn't be a very good mother.
Excuse me?
This is coming from someone who has absolutely no relationships, who isn't capable of them?
How nice it must be for you to judge me from afar.
You asked for my opinion so don't attack me cause you're mad at Jane.
Maybe you should take a look why this bothers you so much.
I'm sorry, you know absolutely nothing about this.
You know what? Why don't you just take your condescending crap and peddle it somewhere else.
So, how's therapy?
Sucks.
Do you have to go again?
Yeah. My mother thinks it'll convert me.
Heh. Believe me, if that were true, a lot of queers would flock to therapists.
I mean... life would be easier if we were straight.
But who wants easy, right? Who wants to fit into this mold? We're trailblazers
unique unto ourselves.
-We're special. -Yeah. We're special alright.
We can't even go anywhere.
Nowhere is safe.
Yes we can.
Can you get out of the house Friday night?
I will even if I have to throw myself out my window.
There can't be this many gay people in this town, it isn't humanly possible.
Oh we are everywhere in every city. We just learn how to hide it better from people.
- Where have you been? - It's 4 in the morning.
I was out. Let’s just leave it at that.
No, we will not leave it at that.
You are grounded for a month.
We will take you to school, we will pick you up from school.
We will set our alarms on the hour if we have to.
That is what you have reduced us to.
You can't do that.
- Oh yes we can. - Now go to your room.
Acting out is a strange thing.
No one ever wins…
But you don't know that when you're doing it..
Jane, we have to talk about this.
What’s there to talk about?
My mother can't look at me, you're disappointed in me, what else is there to talk about?
Fine, then I'll talk about it.
You have to understand.
This isn't just normal growing pains.
This decision could inform the rest of your life.
That’s why your mother and I are so upset about this.
I understand that…
But this isn't easy for me either.
And parents are supposed to love their kids no matter what.
Janie, I will always love you, no matter what.
It doesn't feel that way to me.
- Sorry. - It’s ok.
I just wanted to tell you that I'm still your friend.
No matter who you sleep with.
I can't believe she grounded you for a whole month.
Isn’t therapy enough of a punishment?
Only if you have to go.
This isn't gonna work Jane.
What?
Us
I mean, I really like you, but...
This is getting out of control.
It’s not worth it.
But why should we let other people decide what's best for us?
Jane, I've had more relationships than you
and I guess I just don't get as attached.
It’s as easy for me to have them.
As it is not to have them.
But I love you.
No, you don't.
You barely know me.
You just think you do because I was your first.
You'll get over it
You'll get over me…
It's just better this way.
What happened?
I’m gay and everyone hates me.
They don't hate you, they're kids.
What did they do? Did someone say something to you?
Taylor just broke up with me.
She never really cared about me in the first place.
That's not true! Of course, she did!
No, she didn't.
It's just a fling to her. She said so herself.
I'm sorry…
I just wanna die…
You don't understand.
Yes, I do.
First girl I dated dumped me, too.
What did you just say?
I swear I thought I just heard you say you dated a girl.
I did.
No way!
Yes way.
I’m still dating girls, Jane…
I’m gay.
Oh my god!
But nobody knows
so I’d appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone.
I swear.
I know it seems like the end of the world but it's not.
When I was 16
I fell madly in love.
Her name was Barbara and I thought
I would spend all my rest life with her.
But we didn’t even know what a life was then…
We hadn't been with anyone we hadn't done anything. How would we know anything?
And when she dumped me to date the football star.
I thought I'd die, too.
What'd you do?
I didn't die
but it took me some time to get over her.
Eventually I did and we became friends.
We still are.
When did you know...
I mean really know
that you were gay?
That it wasn’t a phase?
Almost from the start.
It’s not that I didn’t like men…
It’s just that I felt
connected to women in a different kind of way.
A way that I never felt with a man
even though I tried over and over again
to please my mother to please other people
to be like them.
but I wasn't like them. I was me.
How long did it take you to get over Barbara?
A couple of years.
I’m kidding!
But it'll take some time.
An open heart is easily wounded and hard to repair.
I have to pick up Brad at Jeff's after dinner.
I'll go.
Ok
Jane, what's the matter?
Besides the fact that I live with gestapo?
You’ll be happy to know that Taylor broke up with me today
because of you.
Honey, it'll be ok…
Maybe that'll put an end to this nonsense.
It isn't nonsense to me.
My God, Janice.
She’s hurting. Can’t you just be her mother for a minute?
Don’t concern yourself...
of what I should be.
This isn't all about you, you know?
No, it isn’t. And maybe you should concern yourself
with the fact that your daughter would've ruined her life.
I’ll tell you what I’m concerned about.
I’m concerned about the fact that my daughter's got a broken heart.
That’s what I’m concerned about.
I wasn't sorry about how I felt
but believe it or not
I was sorry about tearing my parents apart.
If adults could just remember their first love maybe they wouldn't think ours were so wrong.
Where have you been?
Out.
You’ve been drinking?
Yes.
What're you thinking about?
You’re grounded, again.
Why?
Because you’re 16 years old
and as long as you're in this house, you will do what we say
or I’ll lock you up!
Where’s your little girlfriend?
Just walk away Elisabeth.
Who's gonna make me?
I will.
That’s right, you're a dyke now, aren't you?
Stop this nonsense, stop it. Stop it!
Whoever said these were the best years of your life, was a liar.
Hello Mr. Anderson.
I’m sorry. I came over as soon as I could.
I’m glad you are here.
We can't tolerate violence of any kind around here.
That's why I'm suspending Jane. Now I’m sorry.
I understand.
I’m sorry for any trouble that Jane has caused.
You don't have to apologize for me.
Somebody has to. Come on come on, let's go!
Come on!
-Let go off me! -What? You gonna hit me, too?
Hey, lesbo, if you were with me, you wouldn't need to be a dyke!
Right on, man.
Why do you care what they say? You're just like them.
Jane!
-Jane, get in here! -Come on!
I’m not even gonna ask you
to explain what you did, because there is no explanation.
Jane, you can't resolve things this way.
Why not? Elizabeth started it. She was making fun of Taylor and me.
Does you blame her? What you're doing isn't normal.
Jimmy's normal. Ms Walcott's normal.
What did you say?
Nothing, I accidentally said her name. I just meant Jimmy.
You said Ms. Walcott's normal.
Is Ms. Walcott gay?
Jane, is your teacher gay?
Yes, but it doesn't matter.
Of course it matters!
She has influence over you.
She’s misusing it.
She’s the only good thing at that damned school.
Oh we'll just see about that!
No please, don't hurt Ms. Walcott! Please mom!
Please don't say anything! I’ll die!
-Janice, Janice don't do this! -No!
No, please…
Why is she doing this?
It’s ok.
Janie, come on. Come on.
Ms. Walcott?
Yes
-I’m Janice Tyler, Jane's mother. -It’s nice to meet you.
Stay away from my daughter.
Well, that'll be difficult. I’m her teacher.
You're also gay and you're influencing her.
Unless you'd like me to go to the school board which I'm perfectly prepared to do.
Just stay away from my daughter.
Jane?
Your father and I have decided we have to do something about your behavior.
We tried talking to you, punishing you
and therapy hasn't worked at all.
So... We've decided we should send you away to boarding school.
I won't go!
I like the school I’m in.
This isn't your choice.
It’s not what we want to do.
Well, I’ll run away.
They can't watch me 24 hours a day.
Maybe you prefer outward bound.
I don't care… Do what you have to do.
Jane! Jane!
Let her go.
How did we get here?
-You know how we got here. -No I don't!
I don't want to send her away.
I’m not gonna let you make this my fault.
Jane, what are you doing here?
Come in, come in, come in.
Are you ok?
-Lynn? What’s...? -Honey, this is Jane.
Hi Jane. I've heard a lot about you.
Do you guys want some tea or something?
You want some tea?
No, thanks.
Well I’m gonna go back to sleep. I gotta get up early.
It was nice to meet you, hang in there.
Come on over here.
What’s going on?
I’m so sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.
Oh sweetie, you didn’t.
It’s gonna be ok.
It won't be.
My parents are sending me away. They’re kicking me out.
They hate me.
Everybody hates me.
I don't know what to do I have nowhere to go.
I just want to disappear.
I don't want to live anymore.
It’s gonna be ok, I swear.
It’s gonna be ok…
I know that I’m the last person you expected and the last person that you wanted to see
but Jane run away tonight and she came to my house.
Is she there, now?
-Yes -Would please give us your address so we can come get her?
No, first, you're gonna listen to what I have to say to you.
And then after that you can do whatever it is you need to do.
I know you think it isn't my place to say anything to you about your daughter.
But someone has to…
I understand I may repulse you
but I also understand Jane’s pain.
The pain having people hate you not based on you
but based on what I think we have very little control over.
Well, that's where you and I disagree.
Look, you've made your choice, and frankly,
it’s none of my business.
I just don't think you that should be teaching young girls
and supporting alternative lifestyles
just because they happen to be yours.
Don’t you understand, that Jane..
And girls like Jane
are impressionable.
That they look up to their teachers.
They want to be just like them.
Just let me finish what I have to say to you
and then after that, if you want to go to the school board so be it.
But in the meantime
your child that you gave birth to is in agony and she doesn't need to be.
Jane ran away tonight because she thinks that you hate her.
And I know what that's like.
It’s awful.
And no child should have to go through that.
Jane’s a good person.
And being gay doesn't make her a bad one.
She’s still the same person that you adored two weeks ago.
I still adore my daughter.
I just want to protect her from people like you.
Janice, let her talk.
Jane’s only crime is that she loves differently that you do
and you don't have to understand it
or even agree with it.
But unless you try to
you gonna lose her... forever.
I appreciate your concern, but I think we know our daughter better than you do.
Really?
Well did you know that your daughter came to my house tonight
thinking that suicide was one of her options.
Can I speak to Jane alone please?
Sure, I’ll wait out there.
Hi.
Ms. Walcott came over tonight
and told us something
I'd never considered before.
She said that if I continue to behave
the way I've been behaving
that I would lose you permanently.
I’m your mother
and I love you
and I don't wanna lose you.
When you first told us
I thought
what've I done wrong as a mother
and
I did think
what would people say what'll I tell my friends.
But my first reaction
was that I didn't want your life to be any harder than it had to be.
The world is not a nice place
and I guess I had the same dream as every mother has with their little girl.
That you'd meet a good man.
You'd fall in love.
You'd get married.
Have children...
Those are your dreams
I know that.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
When did first feel that you were a...
A lesbian?
It’s ok, you can say it without becoming one.
Oh god, you're exhausting sometimes.
Sorry.
I guess
I've always known that I was different.
I didn’t feel a part of things.
I’m not sure when it became clear.
Probably last year…
But I guess it's always been inside of me.
What's the hardest part about it?
That the people you care about will hate you.
I could never hate you.
I don't think I’m gonna change and I know you want me to, so...
What do we do?
I don't know…
Just try harder.
I will if you will.
I don't know…
...if I’m ever gonna accept it.
and frankly...
I don't know if I can understand what you're doing, but...
We'll take it day by day.
An hour ago I didn't think I had a mother.
But now I think I may be meeting her for the very first time.
Thanks for not telling anyone about Ms. Walcott.
You're welcome.
What?
Well because you're still having a hard time accepting this
I’d like you to come to a meeting with me.
It’s for parents with gay kids.
It’s called PFLAG.
What kind of name is that?
It stands for parents, friends, and family of lesbians and gays.
Ah... and what will we do there?
-Come on! -Coming, don't pull me!
Hi, welcome to PFLAG!
I’m Dorothy, and my son is gay.
This is my mother, Janice and her daughter is a lesbian.
That would be me.
It’s hard to say at first
but pretty soon you'll be saying it to everyone.
Oh really?
When would that be?
First I thought it was me.
Then I thought...what people will think
about me?
What kind of a horrible mother am I?
Then when
I almost lost my child because of
my ignorance.
I found her again,
and who she was
was exactly who she was always meant to be.
Good child.
Kind child. my...
My child, excuse me…
What I came to realize
was that none of this,
has anything to do with us.
It’s their lives
And we, as parents, need to let them live their lives.
as they see fit.
Not as we see fit.
Thank you.
Ring a bell?
I got it.
Oh, thanks!
Thank you!
Oh, don't even think about it.
He’s my friend.
Nothing more, nothing less.
She’s still a dyke, mom.
And she's still your sister, so watch your mouth!
Just go to hell!
May I have ketchup, please? Thank you.
I’m really proud of you!
Don't be.
You know they have a saying in AA
to act as if
as if you...understand or
accept something.
When you really don't
and that's what I’m doing
acting as if
because it still breaks my heart.
- Did you want to say something? - No.
Thanks.
But you can't protect me forever.
No, but when I can I hope you'll let me
What happened to you?
Someone called me a fag hag.
Which is insane, cos I’m not a fag.
I beat the crap out of them anyways.
At that moment if I had been straight, I would've married Ned right then and there.
You ok about Taylor moving back east?
Yeah, thanks.
Isn't this great?
Dad, don't think I all of a sudden like sports because I’m gay!
How about fishing?
Suppose golf is out of the question!
So what do lesbians like to do?
Same things like you to do.
Can we go home now?
Yeah, sure.
-Hi! -Hi!
Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
Who the hell thinks this is fun?
You lose a tiny piece that you barely see, much less find, and you still want blow your brains out.
- Can I go Jeff's house now? - Go, go!
Praise the Lord.
-You guys have fun? -Oh yeah, tell her Dad. Time of our lives…
Can I talk to you guys for a minute?
Sure.
I appreciate all that you're doing to try to be a part of my life
and to show me you love me even though I’m gay.
But you don't need to try quite so hard.
- Sorry. - Sorry.
Hi, Janice, glad you here. How’s Jane?
She’s good, thank you.
And you?
I’m trying.
My name is Lorraine and my daughter is a lesbian…
I’m Susan, and my son is gay…
My name is Janice, and...
It’s ok, let's start to meeting now.
What do you want?
I’m not gonna hurt you.
Then what do you want?
I bought you this.
Why would you give me a present?
I've never been nice to you in my whole life.
I know, but I've never been nice to you either
so I thought I’d try it.
I'm the one who told people you were gay.
I know…
- It’s a trick ,isn’t it? - No.
I don't get it.
There’s a saying...
kill 'em with kindness
and in a few years, you'll know what it means.
Why can't I eat over at Jeff's house?
Because we have to have more family dinners
- Why? - Because we're gluttons for punishment.
Because we're a family, son.
That’s in the eye of the beholder.
Keep it up and you'll behold your room.
How’re the PFLAG meetings going, Janice?
Good... Good…
You have this gay pride rally next week.
- But I don't know, I guess it's kind of a field trip. - Great, great!
Good for you.
Well I don't think I’m going to be going, I mean, I’m getting better
but I just don't think I'm ready to shout it from the roof tops yet.
One step forward, one step backwards…
Jane?
Can I come in?
Look, I’m doing the best I can, and sometimes it stinks,
I’ll get better, I promise…
When?
I'm going to the meetings, I'm acknowledging you're gay,
I think I'm doing pretty well.
But it's all in private, it's still safe.
You don't really accept me unless you do it out in the open.
I’m sorry…
I can't.
I'm going as fast as I can.
We stand united, as brothers and sisters, in the fight for what all human beings deserve
equality, rights, dignity.
The very things that other people take for granted that are given to them...
Under the law, all men and women were created equal in the eyes of my God.
A god that is inclusive, not exclusive
in a world we envision,
not in a world of fences and walls, the things that keep people out because they're different
but in a world that loves.
We ask from the world what we expect from it, not what it gives us if it's wrong
Those are the things we're still fighting for.
We demonstrate, protest.
Hi, Jane!
You guys shouldn't be here, someone might see you.
It's about time we did.
Sorry, your Mom's not here.
She’ll come around.
What if she doesn't?
Where's Janice? They want us on stage to speak.
She’s not coming…
Oh, I’m sorry, Jane.
It’s ok.
It took me 3 or 4 runs at it before I came.
Well you're here, it's a start.
We’ll see you guys later.
[ladies and gentlemen, the PFLAG moms]
Hi, I’m Dorothy, and my son is gay.
I’m Lorraine, and my daughter is a lesbian,
I love her, and I'm proud to be her mom.
I’m Carl, my daughter's a lesbian…
I’m Danci, and my son is gay…
Hi I’m Rick, my daughter is a lesbian, I’m very proud of her.
The amazing thing about change is that everyone can do it,
even the people you least expect it from.
My mother was finally exactly the person she was meant to be.
I was so proud of how well she had grown up.
This is dedicated to Matthew Shepard... and to all of the men & women who love differently.
for more information contact PFLAG at www.pflag.org